CoreGroup Guide | We Just Click - Part 2

From Pastor Charity
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Welcome
Hello, and welcome to the second week in our current series called We Just Click. The purpose of this series is to examine God's design for us to be in relationship with him and with one another. Even more so, we are looking at how relationships can serve a greater purpose by offering us glimpses of our spirituality and impactful insights into our faith.  

Marriage is one such relationship that can offer these things. It's one of the deepest relationships we have in humanity and healthy marriages offer many benefits of love, grace, and belonging. In that respect, there is a beautiful nature to marriage that provides regular opportunities for thanksgiving and growth.

However, not everyone is called to marriage and that is okay. And some marriages become broken, despite our best efforts, leaving us searching for answers and purpose. In any case, it is important to remember that even though our topic this week is focused on marriage, as children of God, our ultimate experience of love, grace, and belonging are always and forever through our relationship with God.

Opening Prayer
Oh God, we want to start this prayer with thankful hearts for all that you have done in our lives.  Thank you for the blessing of relationships and for all the gifts those connections bring. We ask that you bless our conversations as we discuss marriage and open our hearts and minds to the thoughts shared today. Please guide us in gentle ways that help us to see your plans. It's in your name we pray, amen.

Ice Breaker
What is one joyful memory you have from a wedding that you attended? It could be a delicious menu item at the reception or maybe a funny toast at the rehearsal, or maybe it was even a funky dance that happened late into the celebration. What memories come to mind?

The Head
The Bible has many references to marriage. From the beginning in the first book of Genesis to hundreds of years later in books like Song of Solomon, marriage has a designation in God's creation that seems special. The Bible contains an abundance of rich imagery to demonstrate that designation. [Please note that most biblical references include language that describes marriages between a man and a woman; however, the same themes apply to marriages in the LGBTQIA+ community as well.]

Genesis 2:18

Then the Lord God said, “It’s not good that the human is alone. I will make him a helper that is perfect for him.”

Genesis 2:21-24

So the Lord God put the human into a deep and heavy sleep, and took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh over it. With the rib taken from the human, the Lord God fashioned a woman and brought her to the human being. The human said,“This one finally is bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh. She will be called a woman because from a man she was taken.” This is the reason that a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife, and they become one flesh.

• These verses from Genesis demonstrate marriage in a way that shows an original purpose for this relationship. What aspects of purpose do you see?
• Why do you think God removes part of one human to create another as described in these verses? God could have just created a partner the same way as the first. Why was this process important?
• These verses are sometimes misused to establish a dominance in marriage roles. But in what ways do these verses demonstrate equality in the relationship instead? 

Song of Solomon 2:16

I belong to my lover and he belongs to me—the one grazing among the lilies.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Set me as a seal over your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death, passionate love unrelenting as the grave. Its darts are darts of fire—divine flame! Rushing waters can’t quench love; rivers can’t wash it away. If someone gave all his estate in exchange for love, he would be laughed to utter shame.

• Song of Solomon is a book in the Old Testament that is filled with beautiful and poetic references to love and relationships. The symbolism of “grazing among the lilies” is often attributed to a simple delight in being in another person’s presence.  Why is this simple delight important in a marriage?
• A seal over one’s heart and arm, darts of fire, and rushing waters that can't quench love are all references to fierce passion. We know that passion is something important in marriages, but why? How does passion contribute to a healthy marriage relationship?
• At the end of these verses we also see a reference to one who gives much for the sake of love. What examples do you see of this in marriage? How about other significant relationships? What other Holy relationship does this represent?

The Heart
Beyond the fire and passion highlighted in the Song of Solomon, marriage takes work. Attention needs to be given to healthy methods of supporting the relationship. One such method is to work towards a marriage that is Christ-centered. Or, stated a different way, a marriage that has Jesus as a foundation. To some, that may sound like a challenging goal; however, breaking down what that actually means may present the Christ-centered framework in a different way.  

• What does it mean for a relationship to be Christ-centered? What are some attributes of a Christ-centered marriage?

• What are some challenges to putting Christ at the center of a marriage?

• In addition to keeping Christ at the center of the marriage, what are some other qualities to center in a healthy, sustainable relationship?

• This world is filled with challenges despite our best efforts. What are some ways we can anchor our marriages and relationships when seasons of trouble rise up?

The Hands
Among the benefits of Christ-centered relationships are blessings that seem to pop up when you are paying attention. The Holy Spirit is that trusty companion who is always present in our lives and it's important to be listening when that Companion is around. The Spirit often shows up as a nudge in marriages when Christ-centered things are happening. It could be that feeling of delight when you're near your favorite person or maybe it's that moment you choose to extend grace because you hold love so highly above other feelings. It could be that feeling of contentment when unspoken kindness is extended.  

• Think back over the last couple weeks. Were there times when the Holy Spirit might have nudged you when you were around your spouse or significant other? How would you describe those nudges?
• What are some practices you can put in place to help you to notice those nudges from the Holy Spirit?
• What are some intentional actions you can take this week to prioritize the people you love and the relationships closest to you?

Closing Prayer
Hey God, thank you for the gift of marriage and for the closeness we can feel with special relationships. Please help us to be mindful of active ways we can support each other. Please open our eyes to ways to bless one another and forgive us when we fall short. Lord, it is in your name we pray, amen.  

Going Deeper
If you are struggling with your marriage, relationships with significant others, or anything else, you don't need to be alone! Reach out to a pastor, connect with your CoreGroup leader, or check out The Gathering’s Wellness Ministry.