No Regrets - Week 1 Discussion Guide

CoreGroup Guide | No Regrets - Week One

Welcome

This week we began a new sermon series called No Regrets: Moving Beyond Mistakes. The truth is, we all make mistakes. This is part of being human! But sometimes we struggle to recognize our mistakes, repair the damage done by our mistakes, learn from our mistakes, and move past our mistakes. That is what this sermon series is all about. These are not easy topics to wrestle with in a sermon (much less discuss openly with others!) but it’s what we are called to do as followers of Christ. Let’s begin in prayer.


Opening Prayer

Good and gracious God, thank you for bringing our group together today. Thank you for the opportunity to pause, to breathe, to reflect, and to connect with each other. Thank you for giving us this safe space to grapple with our past mistakes and to recognize those regrets that still take up space in our hearts. These are hard topics to discuss, Lord. Please give us the courage to be authentic and vulnerable with each other, the compassion to be grace-filled towards each other, and the wisdom to feel your healing presence with us today. Amen.


Ice Breaker

• Before we jump into a heavy discussion of past life mistakes, let’s start with something a little easier: Questionable style choices. As you think back to your youth, what trendy fashions, clothing items, accessories, or hairstyles do you most regret?

The Head

The book of 1 John is an epistle, or a letter, written to a group of early believers in the newly forming Christian church. Read the following verses from 1 John together as a group, first out loud then silently to yourself. This is a loaded passage; read slowly and thoughtfully!

“8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” [1 John 1:8-10, New Revised Standard Version]

• Which parts of this passage are especially meaningful to you? Why?
• Which parts of this passage are especially challenging to you? Why?
• Do you believe that “sin” is the same thing as making a mistake? Why or why not? In your opinion, what is the relationship between sin and making mistakes?
• What does it look like to confess our sins? To whom do we confess? 
• Explain verse 1:10 in your own words. Who is made to be a liar, and what does that have to do with our sins? How does this compare to the words of verse 1:8?

The Heart

• What is your typical response when you make a mistake? How have you learned to recognize those mistakes? Share an example with the group.
• What prevents you from recognizing your mistakes? Some possible responses may include: Guilt, shame, fear, perfectionism, destructive patterns, self-preservation, or perhaps something else? 
• If you feel comfortable, share a situation, conversation, or interaction that brings up feelings of regret for you. What does this regret feel like?
• What happens to your relationships with other people when you hold on to past mistakes? 
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  • What happens to your relationship with God? 
  • How about your relationship with yourself? 
  • How does the passage of time impact these relationships and our willingness to deal with mistakes we have made?

The Hands

Oftentimes these types of conversations can be really difficult, even in a CoreGroup with solid relationships and lots of trust. These topics can feel really vulnerable and raw, maybe even awkward and embarrassing. In the coming week, consider doing some individual journaling about the topics brought up in today’s discussion. Below are three different prompts to get you started. Remember, there is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to journaling. This is your opportunity to process your thoughts, feelings, and prayers from this week’s discussion.


**Journaling Prompt A: Peter’s Denial of Jesus**

Read Luke 22:54-62. This is the story of Jesus’ final interaction with his disciple Peter before Jesus was crucified. 

• How would you describe Peter’s greatest mistake in this passage?
• What drives Peter to make this mistake? What is his response to this mistake?
• Reflect on a time when you made a similar type of mistake. Who did it impact?
• When did you realize you had made the mistake? What was your response? 

**Journaling Prompt B: “You Say” by Lauren Daigle**

Listen to the song “You Say” by Lauren Daigle. If possible, watch the official video with the lyrics included – Official Video with Lyrics

• As you listen to this song, write down any words, phrases, or images that stand out to you. How do these lyrics impact your understanding of your mistakes and regrets?
• Have you ever felt like you were just the sum of every high and every low? How so?
• What does it mean to give God every failure as well as every victory?
• How else does God speak to you through this song?

Prompt C: Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

Author, professor, and researcher Brené Brown has written extensively on the topics of shame, empathy, vulnerability, and courage. In her most recent book, Atlas of the Heart, Brown addresses many of the topics that came up in this week’s sermon. Take a look at the quotes below and journal about anything that comes to mind. How do these quotes relate to your responses to The Head and The Heart questions above?

• “The idea of ‘no regrets’ doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe we have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with our life.” [p. 53]
• “Shame thrives on secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put shame into a petri dish and douse it with these three things, it will grow exponentially into every corner and crevice of our lives.” [137]
• “Perfectionism tells us that our mistakes and failures are personal defects, so we either avoid trying new things or we barely recover every time we inevitably fall short.” [142]
• “We feel guilty when we hold up something we’ve done or failed to do against our values and find they don’t match up… Shame, however, corrodes the very part of us that believes we can change and do better.” [147]

To learn more about Brené Brown’s work, check out her website: brenebrown.com


Closing Prayer
Lord, sometimes it feels like we make the same mistakes over and over again. Thank you for the reminder today that you are always present in our lives, always working in our hearts, and always repairing our mistakes with your grace. As we close our time together we…

… Breathe in hope…. and breathe out regret…
… Breathe in peace…. and breathe out perfectionism…
… Breathe in love…. and breathe out shame…
… Breathe in light…. and breathe out darkness…

In your son’s name we pray, Amen.